An Open Letter To President Obama About the Minnesota Twins

Dear President Obama,

I'm writing you with a pressing policy concern—I'd like to question your policy of supporting the Chicago White Sox to the detriment of the Minnesota Twins.
I think such support is inconsistent with your economic policies. Now don’t get me wrong, I agree wholeheartedly with your handling of the financial crisis; it’s just that in the economic hubbub of the last few months, you’ve made it clear that we should be focusing on “Main Street,” not “Wall Street.”

The Minnesota Twins are Main Street all the way. For instance, we don’t play in some flashy rich stadium; we play in a stadium that looks like a marshmallow. The jumbotron at U.S. Cellular Field has a beer ad right next to it; the jumbotron at the Metrodome? It features an advertisement for sausage.

And the Twins are a small business, if you can call a team with a $65 million dollar payroll run by a billionaire family a “small business.” (And if that’s not Main Street enough for you, check the address of this letter; I actually live on Main Street.) The White Sox? They have a payroll of $95 million—that’s big business; in fact, some of that White Sox money probably goes towards lobbying.

More than that, some of the Minnesota Twins players are actually ‘little guys’; look at Nick Punto, He’s 5’9! We don’t have any of those Matt Thornton White Sox types on our team. Thornton’s 6’6; did you know that according to some sources, Goliath was 6’6? Coincidence? No!

Finally, the Minnesota Twins are more presentable and affable. I’m speaking particularly of Anthony John Pierzynski, who spent a good portion of last season looking like he had selected a peroxide-wielding primate as his hairdresser. (By the way, what is the White House position on peroxide?) And lest I open myself to criticism, yes, A.J. is an ex-Twin, but everyone makes mistakes. I think you’ll agree that Joe Mauer was an upgrade.

For these reasons, I’d like you to encourage you to support the Minnesota Twins, an American League Central Division team that is more in-line with your administration's economic goals and policies.

Sincerely,
Brett Ortler

Former Minnesota Twins/Fan Favorites: Where Are They Now?

Former Minnesota Twins/Fan Favorites:
Where Are They Now?

Doug Mientkiewicz, 1B

Doug M. was the first baseman for the Twins for several years of the great Twinkie turnaround during the first part of this decade. For a solid three seasons (2001-2003), he was the everyday first baseman, and he put up solid offensive numbers during those years. Mientkiewicz batted .300 or better for two of those years, and had 60 or more RBIs each year as well. He also went deep; he hit 10 or more homers each season from 2001-2003. (He's only done that once since.)

As a fielder, he was superb. He won a Gold Glove in 2001. Over his career, Mientkiewicz fielding percentage is quite high. In 1000 games, Mientkiewicz has a .995 FP. Compare that to Don Mattingly, the AL career record holder, who mantained a .996 average over 1714 games, and Mientkiewicz is in pretty good company.

During the 2004 season, Mientkiewicz was traded to the Boston Red Sox in a four-way deal. (Justin Morneau had just emerged and Mientkiewicz didn't bat particularly well in the 74 games he played in for the Twins; he batted only .246.) Luckily for Mientkiewicz, that was the year the Red Sox broke the curse and won the World Series; in fact, Mientkiewicz helped record the final out of that World Series, as he was at first base and caught the ball when pitcher Keith Foulke tossed it to first after fielding Edgar Renteria's ground out with two outs in the bottom of the 9th.
The only problem was, Mientkiewicz wanted to keep the ball. All hell broke lose, and coincidence or not, Mientkiewicz was soon no longer with the Red Sox, as he was traded to the Mets. Since then, Mientkiewicz has bounced around; he's been with a new team each of the last five years. (He's been with the Mets, the Yankees, the Royals, the Pirates, and is now with the Dodgers in 2009.)

He hasn't been a starting first baseman since 2003, though his offensive production, when he's played, has been fairly good for the last two years. In both 2007 and 2008, he batted .277, though in neither season did he get more than 280 at bats. As usual, his fielding was superb. Mientkiewicz has never had more than 7 errors in a season.


(Photo used under the GNU Free Documentation License.)